BBQ Flavored Lie
by Porkchop Sandwiches
Summary: “I think we need to go at this at a different angle.” She seems to think aloud, selecting another wing from the take-out container. My own take on Sam trying to teach Spencer how to lie. Different methods Different results. Spam one-shot.


**Author's note: **This takes place before iKiss and no, I don't own anything except the story of course. This is my first iCarly fic so I hope you guys like it! Please review!

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BBQ Flavored Lie**

Spencer stares at the over-sized gummybear set on the kitchen counter. While he's slightly bored, he's sure there must be some sort of answer to his problem hidden in the fake candy treat. He's also positive that looking at this is a lot easier to do than in Sam's probing eyes.

Even after days of rehearsal after rehearsal he can't get himself to lie. No matter how strongly he starts, Sam consistently is able to badger him to the point of coming clean about the movie he didn't return. It feels a bit ridiculous to him that he can't lie to someone he's known for so long, and he thought spending more time with her would help. But instead of focusing on her shared methods and techniques, he's found himself focusing a lot more on the girl behind the fib spouting mouth. He's noticing things about her_,_things he thinks he shouldn't be noticing. He's started to notice the way light can twinkle in her eyes and through her blonde hair, making even her most devious expressions uniquely angelic. Or the way he can tell she's in the room just by the sound of her tattered sneakers and the smell of sugar loaded bubble gum. Or how he notices the way her smirk can freeze him in place, his heart nearly knocking into his ribcage at the sudden stillness of his body, like a car that's stopped too suddenly. Or the peak of skin he tries not to stare at when her zip-up hoodie slides off her shoulder or when she raises her arms to make a point and her t-shirt raises up as well.

Before these lying sessions, Spencer would usually hang out with Sam plus one if not two. When Carly was studying or staying after school for something she'd show up with Freddie in tow as they'd bicker on his living room couch. Somehow seeing her with Carly or even Freddie seemed to constantly remind him of who Sam was, who Sam is; his little sister's best friend. Yeah, he'd always secretly thought she was cute, but in a puppy dog way, like a small cuddly golden retriever. But as the years passed, his feelings became very un-puppylike. _They're both just as illegal_, he considers with a warped sense of humor.

Without Carly or Freddie constantly around, Spencer was able to appreciate Sam as an individual. An individual who likes to talk while she eats, cuss when she gets really excited, pick the cheese off her pizza to eat it separately from the sauce covered bread, and help him out with his artwork. She laughs at his jokes, ones that are usually met with a puzzled expression or polite chuckle.

While he felt himself fall harder and harder, he became aware of one of Sam's less favorable traits; her attention span. His theory is that her mom raised her on constant television watching, which created a "Girly Cow" obsessed, book hating girl with an attention span shorter than the amount of time Gibby can stay in a shirt. He honestly thinks random dancing is just a way to keep Sam entertained while doing iCarly and away from raiding the fridge. Despite himself, Spencer used Sam's weakness for his own means. When Sam would become bored with their teaching sessions, Spencer would bait her with food to stay. It worked every time and when they went out for meals, which Spencer giddily called dates inside his head, they'd end up talking about anything and everything. Spencer soon came to learn Carly was Sam's first and only best friend, that she loved riding the city bus, that she could fit fifteen pieces of gum in her mouth, and her mom was a horrible parent. They also had a few adventures on the drives back, including a night they tossed doughnuts to a group of hobos and another night when they used his Pear Pod for an ad-libbed singing jam to otherwise lyric-less techno music. Sam usually ended up rapping about ham or whatever food was resting warmly in her lap.

_I wish she weren't so much fun,_ he inwardly mutters, struggling with himself to return to the present moment. He runs his thumb down the red smooth surface of the decorative gummybear, but jumps slightly when the thing gets slammed face down. He refuses to look away from his fallen friend until the guilty hand lifts its pointer finger up. He sighs as he follows its demanded suggestion to see a no-nonsense expression smeared almost as thickly as the BBQ sauce on Sam's face.

"Come on Spence, you're not going to learn how to lie by staring at that dumb bear all day!" Sam manages to shout with a mouthful of chicken. "Just do what we practiced."

"And what was that again?" Spencer asks, playing with the spiky front pieces of his hair.

Sam rolls her eyes as she sucks the last bit of meat off the chicken wing she's working on. Any sane human being would find this action revolting, but Spencer's quirky imagination is causing a different reaction. _Might as well be a Lolita red lollipop. _

"I think we need to go at this at a different angle." She seems to think aloud, selecting another wing from the take-out container.

"What do you mean?" He asks cautiously.

"Well, before we were only practicing the lie about the movie. But, I think you need some training wheels." She smirks as she says this.

"Go on." Spencer prods.

"You need more practice. You need to lie about something that really matters!" Sam declares, her words coming out faster than her thoughts. "Something that you would actually _need_ to lie about!"

"Like what?"

"You could kill someone!" Sam suggests, beaming with pride.

"Hmm…a little too extreme for me."

"You could rob a bank!"

"Too big." Spencer counters, hoping she's kidding.

"An ATM?"

"No." He chuckles.

"My mom's purse?"

"Sam!" He exclaims.

"Yeah, that wouldn't give me much to do at breakfast tomorrow." She considers this as she takes another bite of chicken. "You could blow my school up, you know like Alice Cooper!"

"Sam, I'm not going to blow up your school!" He sighs, taking a seat on one of the bar-stools by the counter. "I'm hopeless. Everyone will see me and say, there's Spencer the guy that…doesn't lie."

He exhales the last line in a huff, it sounding stupid even to him.

"I'm so mad! I'm like a penguin and all the other birds make fun of me 'cause I can't fly!"

He slams his fist down on the counter, which causes his barbershop-like bar-stool to sink down a few good inches. _At least it didn't catch on fire,_ he considers as he tries to lighten his mood.

"I have another idea." Sam speaks with an uncharacteristically timid voice.

"What?" Spencer sighs, glancing up to see Sam at eye level and a little closer than he remembered.

She sets her bare chicken bone aside as she takes small steps towards him. She stops only when their jean-clad knees meet in a sort of denim hug as Spencer can feel his legs tingle with emotions he's in no way proud of.

"Sam?" Spencer questions, his voice shakier than his slowly jiggling foot.

"Handsome, don't be nervous." She says in a sultry voice he thinks sounds much too old for her.

But he isn't allowed any further thinking when Sam plants a sweet kiss on his lips. _More tangy than sweet_, he muses, feeling the tingle of the BBQ sauce on her mouth. He knows he should be stopping this, but he can't seem to resist those two incredibly soft lips. Instead of stopping he increases the heat, upgrading the adolescent kiss with the tip of his tongue. Sam's gasp is quiet, almost as if Spencer imagined it, but it's all too real when her mouth opens and her hand rests on his chest. The BBQ flavor hits him full force as his hand reaches out for her cheek. But just as his hand stretches out, they both hear the sound of a key slide through the lock of the door.

They rip apart, Spencer jumping up from his seat to practically leap over the counter to distance himself from Sam. Carly opens the door in enough time to see Spencer's acrobatic move and Sam's very rosy cheeks. She raises an amused eyebrow as she plops her tote bag crammed with books on the couch and walks towards them.

"What were you guys doing?" Carly innocently asks.

"Just eating some wings." Spencer answers, the lie feeling effortless.

"Why do you guys look all sweaty and crazy-eyed?" Carly chuckles, using jazz hands for emphasis.

"Because…"He starts to hesitate, "Because these are some good wings!"

"Yeah, some damn good wings!" Sam exclaims, looking very fondly at her handiwork.

"Well then give me one of those!" Carly jokingly shouts; very accustomed to random bouts of excitement. "Man, I can really use one after three hours in the library. If I had to read one more…"

Spencer's mind begins to unintentionally wander from Carly's discussion of her day as he thinks of Sam. _She_ seems quite enthralled by Carly's words as she nibbles on a wing and occasionally nods. He runs his tongue across the inside of his mouth, trying to forever capture the taste of his BBQ flavored lie.

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Again, please review :)


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